well, another birthday has come and gone and the biggest difference is that i am no longer a twentysomething. it’s ok, though. i’m not freaking out. everyone says their 30s were some of the best years of their lives, so i’m actually kind of excited to have entered this period. i’m anticipating things to come, and it feels really good <3

being celebrated also feels really good! which is why i’m still basking in the glow of the weekend on monday morning. so much time and effort was put forth by so many people to ensure i had a wonderful, memorable weekend. i would be remiss if i didn’t mention shirley and the two days she took off work to prep for the big party on saturday. hours and hours of cooking and cleaning and errand-running, all for me. do i have a wonderful mother-in-law or what?

not to mention the other amazing women in my family (my mom, rodi, tai, auntie margie and auntie loretta) who brought all kinds of homemade deliciousness for my guests to enjoy. and antonella, a wonderful friend with a talent for baking, who made 70 of the most adorable cupcakes i’ve ever seen.

and, of course, my parents. not only did they CREATE me (haha), but they also treated us to a very enjoyable birthday dinner on friday night at quinn’s lighthouse, a restaurant of my choice. in addition to all that, my mom took ellie for a walk during my party when i needed a break, and my dad manned the video camera all night. i cannot wait to see the ridiculousness he caught on tape :)

thank you, also, to brianne for wiping my tears and calming my nerves during a moment of extreme stress (and for taking pictures when i realized i hadn’t been taking any – oops!), and to alyssa’s dear husband matt for lighting my candles when ryan was off dealing with ellie <3

and to all the other friends and family who joined in the celebration on saturday, especially josh who made the eight-hour drive from san diego just to be there; flo & brian, who are surely the busiest couple of all with their wedding coming up in less than a WEEK; and all the rest of you amazing people. each one of you made it an event i will always remember, one of the best nights of my life.

and finally, to ryan, the love of my life, the single most selfless person i know, the one who makes everything possible. thank you for my party, thank you for my daughter, thank you for giving me all that i could ever want. i love you so much.

“happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
.aristotle.

the lack family loves a good festival. we go to the pumpkin festival in half moon bay every year, we entertained the idea of going to the gilroy garlic festival this year (but we decided it was too far to drive), we’re thinking of going to the harvest festival in november, and on saturday we went to one we had never been to before, the hayward zucchini festival.

much like the pumpkin festival is for us, the zucchini festival is a tradition for our friends eric and alicia. we had never heard of it, but they invited us to tag along, so we decided to check it out. the first thing ellie saw was a pony, so she was excited from the moment we entered the gates.

from there we made our way over to the food. ellie munched on crackers, ryan had a hot link and i had fried zucchini because – duh – it was the zucchini festival! and mmm, it was delicious.

then we browsed the different vendors’ tents, bought honey sticks, tried on ridiculous hats, and ryan took my picture next to a pile of giant zucchini :)

we tried to take a few pictures of ellie and brylie (future BFFs) together, but brylie wasn’t in the mood to pose. so ellie danced to the live music, we had a few more drinks and then we headed home <3

my only complaint is that there weren’t too many zucchini things are the zucchini festival. if i hadn’t gotten fried zucchini or found the big zucchini to take a picture with, we wouldn’t have seen a single zucchini! we still had lots of fun with the blum family, though. perhaps we’ll join them again next year :)

heard this poem today on a video posted by my favorite blogger of all time, rebecca woolf. i like it so much that i want to remember it by saving it here.

if you are at first lonely, be patient. if you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. you’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

we can start with the acceptable places – the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library – where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway, so it’s safe there.

there is also the gym. if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in. then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places. and there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

start simple. things you may have previously avoided based on your ‘avoid being alone’ principles. the lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by chow-downers, employees that only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone. resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

when you are comfortable with eat-lunch-and-run, take yourself out for dinner, a restaurant with linen and silverware. you’re no less intriguing a person when you are eating solo dessert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. in fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

go to the movies where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community. and then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. dance like no one’s watching because they’re probably not. and if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. the way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. down your back, like a book of blessings.

go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there are always statues to talk to. and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might have never happened had you not been there by yourself.

society is afraid of alone, though. like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

you can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company. but no one is in your head. and by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. ’cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.

it’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you. for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach. and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, the community is not present. just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it.

if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it. you could be in an instant surrounded if you need it. if your heart is bleeding, make the best of it. there is heat in freezing, be a testament.

-tanya davis